this week's been rather hectic, spending more time in school than at home, trying to stare at my hmwk like a dead fish(quoted fr jm) at night, dozing off before doing anything, and having to rush through any hmwk the next morning. prob because i practically did nth during the weekends and work started to like pile up damn quickly?

i can't do physics for nuts lar. i don't want to fail the coming test on errors, kinematics, and forces. have been telling myself to work on the tutorials and read and re-read the notes but why do i always fail to do so? i want to stop procrastinating. i must lar. and i failed the geog test even though i studied. i really studied! but why did i not know what the question was really pointing at? and i dont seem to be able to do the chinese worksheets. the problem is such that the words that appear in the passage, questions and choices are too difficult that i don't even know what i'm staring at.. or rather, perhaps, the problem lies with myself, my attitute towards approaching it, cuz everyone seems to understand them.. everyone but me.

i should start giving myself more stress cuz i really don't want to disppoint my parents lar. i want to show them that i can go for the upcoming trips, take part in the various activities that i'm interested in, and still be able manage my studies well.


[please give me some respect, if you even treat me as your sis.

have u ever realise why everyone's treating you so good? they really hope that you'll realise what's wrong with your attitute and start working hard! come on man, you have less than half a year to brush up your work.. why do you think they bought you that phone that you wanted? it was meant to give you encouragement. do you think they bought you that phone cos you really need it? and it's even better than mine!

see, all of us care for you but are you making an effort to make some improvement? i shouldn't have been so angry that day even after you pissed me off. perhaps you wanted me to beg u for a reply? and u even hit me. i should have just shut up right? isnt that what you wanted me to do? then everything would have been fine that day. but i know that, if i had an older sis, i wouldn't have treated her like that. how many times have you stolen my stuff and how many times did i not tell anyone about it?

i wanted to help you with math but u dont want me to do so. teaching you was like talking to myself or even the wall facing us. can you please please stop it? do some self-reflection. you cant always be right you know. and you are very lucky that they care so much for you, do you know that?

i'm sorry for what i did to the present that i gave u. for now, i really don't wish to talk to you.]